I am very lucky to have two children who will try most things. Their latest triumph was mussels in their shells served on top of a simple fish stew, The Rugby Player came home a little later that day and as a result lost most of his mussels to The Princess and The Happy One who stood around him pleading with open mouths like baby birds. I was very proud of them and the Rugby Player wasn't late for a whole week after that!
I am reluctant to claim any credit for this, as my youngest brother (an adventurous cook and eater now) was quite particular as a child and his two older siblings would try anything, so I may meet my match yet! There are some things that I do that may help though.
1. The children eat the same dinner as us. If we're having something a bit spicy I add natural yogurt to theirs if they want it. Their high chairs have no trays so from the time they could sit up (and with the help of rolled up towels before that) they have participated at the table.
2. I don't offer an alternative to the dinner, but if they don't want it that's fine. I used to only put half The Princess's dinner in front of her at a time as she went through a phase of being daunted.
3. On David Coleman's advice if they are eating I disregard their manners, cutlery use etc - time enough for that, I've seen very few adults eat bolognese with their hands in restaurants! In the early days of feeding never discourage their participation in feeding themselves - no matter how messy, give them a spoon too as soon as their interested or finger food to hold while you spoon up the messy stuff.
4.I often find they eat more if they have a small drink with their dinner.
5. In restaurants I try to avoid the childrens menu and divide an adult main course between them or order them a starter each, this is sometimes a little more expensive but the quality and choice is not comparable.
6. Never assume a child won't like something, even a wedge of lime (the Happy One insisted on trying one on Monday night.) Let them try it other wise you're putting the notion into their heads that you can know without trying - they may surprise you. The Princess has loved tangy Loganberries from about 7 months (they're pink I suppose!).
7. Don't lose heart, if they won't try something or say they don't like it, try again. Anthony Worrall Thompson says it takes 17 attempts to get children used to a new food. (not everyday in succession obviously!)
8. I accept that they have days when they are not hungry, and never coax them with the exception of when there are friends or family around and they need to be reminded to eat in the excitement, this is on the grounds If someone pushed a loaded fork or spoon towards my mouth when I was full or didn't feel like it I think I would resort to violence.
9. Your most valuable commodity in the eyes of your children is your attention, even negative attention is better than no attention so if they can get a reaction from you by staging temporary hungry strikes you can bet they will become more frequent.
My advice in a nutshell is to hand the plate and cutlery over to the child, avert your eyes from the mess and sit back enjoy your own meal and some dinner conversation that doesn't revolve around " just one more piece of brocolli." Nigella Lawson puts it all better than I can in her book How to Eat, there's a really sensible chapter on feeding children. I have the book out from my local library at the moment and love it.
If you haven't already read Dr. Christopher Green's New Toddler Taming I would recommend it , he points out that no toddler in the Western world died of starvation through stubborness and even children of parents who swear they eat "nothing" seem as full of energy and mischief as my own.
We can always console ourselves that my youngest brother eats foods from all over the globe now and can cook quite a few of them too.
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